ToFallApart

dear you, the weather is heating up and we're cooling down from our angst-machine break up that tore me apart it's getting easier to hug you and not want to hold you or cry on you or kiss you or hit you or whatever the hell i want to do when you shove your foot into the closing door of my life again "hey, dakota, i'm not late am i?" "no, no, c'mon in, woman" why would i want to move on anyway? i can live on with your memory so c'mon in i know you will anyway if nothing else get the fuck out of my dreams last warning you're killin' me quit holding my hand in my sleep while i dream you think after i come down from m

I dreamt I was sleeping, I dreamt you were with me; I dreamt we were happy As miserable could be. Well, we were in bed, Well, you were so close; My hand was in yours, There were smiles on us both. When I woke up the next morning, I saw you weren't there; My hand felt too empty, These dreams just aren't fair. That day I saw you, That day was like hell; You liked her instead? My spirits fell. I pretended I was sleeping, I pretended you weren't there; My hand still feels empty I pretend I don't care.

Dear girlfriend; You, my dear, are impossible to write prose about. Damn you. And, actually: damn me, too--typing aimlessly as I sit, mind racing, thoughts repeating, blah-diddly-blah, in the living room, my eyes wandering to the spot we'd sat, completely relaxed and very much together, mere hours ago. (Sometimes, I wonder if you and your boyfriends are like that.) ((After that, I usually decide I don't want to wonder anymore.)) Now, here I am, listening to The Doors-- ("Well, show me the way to the next whiskey bar. Oh, don't ask why. Oh, don't ask why.") --and fiddling around on my old, useless fucking laptop: trying to write out ev

Sometimes, I forget I miss you. It's a good feeling. I forget I cried when you said you needed to think, I forget that I'd written you all those notes, and I forget that I'd just gotten the courage to give you them all. I forget, sometimes, that I'd decided not to pussy out that time. I forget I was finally warming up to 'us' again. Sometimes, I think I didn't lose you. I wake up from a dream about you, and I smile because I think you'll be there waiting when I get to school. I think you'll get up from your boyfriend's side just for me, and hug me and kiss me, and I think I'll have you. For one, beautiful second: I'll fucking have you. For

Dani, Dani, Danielle Dearest, Tell me who am I, To wish for your sweet, fickle love, And pray for your wandering eye? Dearest, dearest, dearest Dani, You just wont tell me why. Not why you look at me, but you see him, You just look back to the sky. Danielle, Danielle, Dearest Dani, I don't want to see a guy. I want you to be my only one, Even though I know you'll lie. Dani, Dearest Danielle, Danielle, When I'm with you, may heart just flies. I don't care about such silly things: That you love him more than I. Dearest Dani, Dearest Dani, I love you, damn it, I love you. Fickle boys will come and go, But baby, please say that

"Go quietly." You told me, and quietly I would fall. I had followed with You for all my years, and I thought I'd seen it all. The hate and lies. Good peace when it dies. The unrelenting duty to follow Your will, because I had promised, and promise still, for You, and only You, I will. Oh, good God! Ah, glorified God! Forget the poor, the hungry, oh, the blasphemous sods! I'll fight them! I'll fight! For your lost peace of mind! For the chance, just a chance, that you can find your old light! Silver and silver crashing with vigor…But, with the slip of a hand, I find that I wither. Oh, no…so much of the scarlet that I still adore.